Thursday, October 26, 2006

update

the wait has been long. too long in fact. the voluntary desistance from grabbing the computer and blogging my heart away has now come to an end. the red eye is gone, final exams are finally over, and the fever is low. yes, now i can blog.

reunion
three weeks ago (and yes, during that time when i had a flaming red eye, which wasn't so red thanks to the miracles of modern science), my brother and i attended an uncle's birthday celebration which became a reunion of sorts. i had fun talking with my second cousins. i couldn't believe i never got to know them growing up. 'twould have been great.

also during that time, i had my first great scare of the coming bar examinations. two of my cousins took the exam this year and everyone's eye is on me now, being the next in line taking the great leap. pressure. argh.

the celebration was held in gazebo royale (did i get this right?) in quezon city. apparently, it is where matet was married and where maja salvador had her debut. nice place. a quiet sanctuary amidst the busy city.

final exams
a week after that reunion however, whatever good will i have had since then already disappeared due to the always dreaded final examinations. not all was lost though.

poli law was great. if there is any subject which i can say i'm ready to take for the bar, it'll have to be this. very good foundation by father b and great review by sir jack. a total money's worth, hehe...

for persons, i have had a mistake which i have never ever committed in the four years that i've been in the law school. i inadvertently skipped a number which i'm sure i have an answer to. sayang ang 10 points! oh well, no use crying over spilled milk, right?

crim was disastrous. and nothing is left to be said. aaaaaah. (by the way, part of the reason why i messed up crim is that i've been sick since monday night. thank goodness for ker who took care of me during those two days. thanks ker!)

retreat
finally, if there is one thing that i've been looking forward to since i last blogged, it is the retreat that i'm having starting today. not only is it a silent retreat which i have never ever attended before, it is also, for me, a chance to reboot my system, remove all the unnecessary clutter which i have accumulated all these years, and reorient myself as to the path i'm heading. i so need this. with all the mental and emotional drama i've been having these past years in general and in the past months in particular, a breeze of cool and clear air will do me good.

yes, i'm ready for a new life. and i'm beginning now. i'm leaving for the retreat, guys, see you later. ;p

Friday, October 20, 2006

last test standing

and yes, it is almost over... one last exam and it's goodbye first sem, hello second and final sem!!! weeeheee!!!

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

blog me not

i miss blogging. haven't been able to do so this past week due to my freaking red eye. the doc told me to avoid any kind of eye stress, which, of course includes staring at my pc. hence, no blogging. argh. can't even write a decent blog entry because i have to clear out in a few minutes or so. with final exams coming up, how can i, for the life of me, retain my sanity if i can't blog? argh. this situation is so getting out of control. hmp.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

the weekend that was

much has already been said about the storm we have had late last week. i am not about to give another detailed account of how trees came crashing down roofs of houses or how some households shockingly lost their roofs in a matter of hours due to the storm. no, i'm not gonna do that. what i'm gonna do instead is to account how a long weekend with no electricity and no cellphone reminded me so much of my time spent in the mountains of mindoro in october of 2004.

it was, as i have written before, an experience i could never forget. first is the feeling of urgency, during the day, to do as much as necessary before nightfall. the fact that everything would be pitch black as early as 6 in the evening compels one to be proactive duirng the day. use as much sunlight as possible. there will always be too much work which needed to be done and too short a day and light to do everything. and this is exactly what i felt late last week. the thought that i couldn't count on the wee hours of the morning to do my studying stirs in me a certain sense of panic. that i couldn't delay my work. that i need to finish things NOW.

second is the sadness that envelopes me as darkness falls. it takes too much of my courage and self-restraint to not give in and cry out. take away my TV from me, take away my computer and internet and i'll be a nervous wreck. the lack of communication from the outside world, as it were, and seeing only the four corners of my room weighs down on me to the point of suffocation. psychological? yes. terminable? i hope so. anyway this is how i felt last week. no electricity which meant no TV, no pc, no cp and no connection to anyone outside of my household. sad. on the other side, however, i disovered how fun talking to my family was. how fun playing cards with my mom was. somehow, with electricity around, i never got to do these things with them. it feels like i have been missing out. and that made me sad even more. sad.

if anything good could have come out of what had happened last week, it is me remembering that experience in the mountains of mindoro. it is that experience which taught me urgency and thereby a sense of acitivity, to not delay my work in the future, instead, to do them all NOW as much as possible, as good as possible. modern comforts somehow reduced me into an inactive person. it is amazing how it takes a storm to remind me of how i should be, of how we should be. also, that weekend, more than anything, taught me to enjoy what was within my surrounding. to see the pleasure in just sitting with family members, telling stories, catching up. it's shocking how modern communication devices cut short family interaction in this day and age. and it's even more shocking how it took a natural calamity to make me realize that.

tsk tsk.