back and beyond

i had fun last friday. despite the gnawing rumbling of the impending midterm examinations, i was able to take a break, relax a little, and enjoy good food and music in one bar in makati. to top it off, i was in good company--new, but good. i think such company is well on its way in becoming a great one. what a fantastic way to jump start the new year.

and speaking of the new year, i am on the verge of embarking on a new journey myself. that is, after i hurdle my last midterm and final examinations in the law school! tingnan mo nga naman, ang bilis ng panahon. it seems not so long ago when i have been complaining about my first couple of midterm exams. now, i'm about to finish it all. cool, but still, scary. this means of course that the bar is just a stone throw away. less than ten months of revisiting and remembering all that i've learned in the law school. whew. it is, by far, the most daring feat that i am to breast in my academic life. it is the pinnacle, if you must, of those long years of preparation. argh. needless to say, i will need all the support that i can get.

i'm sure my family will be there, but i will have to ask pardon, as early as now, for i will be conspicuously absent in any and all of our family gatherings until after the bar. the same goes with my friends. except for those who i'll be occasionally seeing while reviewing in the law school, i think i will disappear even more than i already had these past four years. argh, the pains of striving in life.

but then again, i'm getting well ahead of myself. i need to focus on my last midterms first, don't i? one step at a time, i suppose. i'll get there soon enough. but for now, i gotta write my elements notebook. later guys, au revoir.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

school starts anew

yes.

it's here.

the new semester.

the final one.

i'm so excited.

what happened?

i've been in san pablo for the past week, that's what happened. no internet connection, meaning, no blogs, no email, and no chats. the mere thought of it makes me shiver. how could i have survived the week without a link to the outside world? how could i have braved the plateau of san pablo without my usual evening, and yes, morning, habits?

argh, it was the worst of times.

and yet, it was also the best of times.

i have started jogging. seriously this time. not a momentary flavor that i put up myself into. of course, i couldn't run for sh*t at first, that was expected. what was unexpected however was my desire to continue running. the early morning breeze battling with my running body as i feel the heat of my blood rising to my face is a complete head rush. love that feeling.

also, a week's stay at home normalized my eating habits. no more skipping meals for me. eating three times a day without the usual dormer's question of where will i eat next is indeed a welcome change in my system. it almost feels like cleansing my body of unwanted stress. that'd be good anytime.

what's more, staying at home for a week somewhat crystallized whatever it is i learned and gained from the silent retreat i have had two weeks ago. nothing can be more serene than spending some alone time in the place where i grew up. growing up there wasn't easy, but it has its wonderful moments, those which i will cherish for the rest of my life.

finally, i have had quality time bonding with my mom. it's been ages since i last had a conversation with her beyond the usual kumustahan. i missed speaking with my mom. i missed the comfort it always brings when we converse and discuss issues concerning anything under the sun. i wish we could do it more often. i wish I could be there more often.

indeed, it was the worst of times, it was the best of times. no one could have put it more precisely than that.

(by the way, i single-handedly put up our Christmas tree at home and it was cool. i also received my final marks in crim law rev and it was even cooler. thanks sir!)

last test standing

and yes, it is almost over... one last exam and it's goodbye first sem, hello second and final sem!!! weeeheee!!!

blog me not

i miss blogging. haven't been able to do so this past week due to my freaking red eye. the doc told me to avoid any kind of eye stress, which, of course includes staring at my pc. hence, no blogging. argh. can't even write a decent blog entry because i have to clear out in a few minutes or so. with final exams coming up, how can i, for the life of me, retain my sanity if i can't blog? argh. this situation is so getting out of control. hmp.

towards being happy

it has undeniably been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me these past few weeks. everything came crashing down the same time that i had to hold myself up to build my future. i had been sad then devastated then elated then empty and confused in a span of a week. and it is draining. totally draining.

good thing i think of myself as strong. that is, strong enough to keep it all together until an iota of light springs back in my life. strong enough to feel the better life ahead of me and work towards achieving that goal.

and i have.

i'm recovering immensely well. things that were unthinkable in the past are now matters of possibility. stuff that i have already forgotten, i am now remembering. and everything seems lighter. more wonderful. the whole world is indeed, once more, one big possibility.

towards being happy.

weird

It's so weird having two functioning blogs at the same time. it's like splitting oneself in two and not knowing which is whom and who is which. ideas get busted just because a part thereof seems better suited in one site than the other, thereby effectively hindering me from developing each idea and eventually stopping me from writing it altogether. again, it's weird. it's just that blogger, at least when i access it on my computer, seems to be off the mark lately and so i have been in search of another avenue to express my thoughts. and yahoo 360 (http://blog.360.yahoo.com/jandelm) is relatively new which i so cannot pass upon. thus, again, the dichotomy created, which, makes my writing life, well, weird.

weird.

http://www.jelandomer.blogspot.com

people seem to have had the impression that i deleted my whole blog altogether. i have not, for the following reasons.

first, i can never voluntarily delete my blog, let alone my entries therein. it has, for the most part, kept me sane all these years. by pouring out all emotions in writing, i was able not only to share unto my friends the best success and the worst failures i have had, but also, i was able to maintain a clean track of what's been going on in my life so as to decipher the most viable way in porceeding to the future. for this reason alone, it would have been insane to delete my blogsite and my entries therein.

second, for anyone who has been reading my blog all these years, one will notice that for every major event in my life, cataclysmic or otherwise, it is accompanied by a major revamp either in the template of my blog or in the blog title thereof. thus, i have had silvernightmare, jeland's law, thoughts, of ends and beginnings and now, lost in thoughts. the fact that you're seeing this entry does not mean that i have erased all that which i have already written. rather, it merely signifies a certain stage that i'm going through right now. and thank you for being there with me as i go through it.

third and finally, although change is good, i'd rather i can see the person i have been before that change. more than keeping track of the past for formulating the future, i'd like to see what's been in order to see who i've been and what i've already become. this puts things in perspective. it makes me a whole person. and for that, again, i can never delete my blog.

and so, for anyone who's interested in who i was before this change, for anyone who would like to make that leap of change with me, and for anyone who wants to accompany me as i map out my future by first looking at my past, hit www.jelandomer.blogspot.com, and i'll be there, stripped to my bare essentials.

thanks guys, for keeping me company all these years.